“It’s fashion, dahling!” screams the beehived creature in front of you, in the highest pitch imaginable, air-kissing a naked, insect-like lady backstage. How did you get here in the first place? Simple, there is ZERO security and you’re casually pretending to be a photographer for W ( for whatever …) magazine.
Yep, it is that time of year again: Copenhagen Fashion Week – time to get seriously into orbit. And in case you’ve always desperately wanted to join this inaccessible, glamourous world, let me tell you a few secrets: this is no Paris Fashion Week, where every show is so controlled it would make the Pentagon’s security blush. Where American journalists get in apoplectic fits if they are not personally invited by Karl to attend the über exclusive Chanel show and will coldly consider every means possible in order to get in, physical violence included.
Here, in wonderful Copenhagen, you can be part of the glam scene, sipping champagne with models, rubbing shoulders with local celebrities on the dancefloor, and yes, hanging out backstage, provided you listen to a few words of advice coming from yours truly.
First of all, you need to have nerves of steel, impeccable taste, a flair for cookie accessories and a master´s degree in improvisation skills – we’re talking professional bullshitting here. If you actually happen to be interested in the whole rag trade and would sell your grandmother’s knitting set for a seat in the front row, guess what? You actually do not even need any invitation at all in order to enjoy the catwalks, just a whole load of attitude.
Remember, you are such a pivotal element in this business, that you are above this whole invitation thingy. Just walk around like you own the place and look snobbish as hell. If this does not get you in, simply enter from the exit and exit through the entrance. Hence making the beloved queuing system a thing of the past. Note to readers, this also works pretty much anywhere in Denmark and that includes concert venues, clubs, private parties, you name it. However, as always, adaptation is key – you just have to be ready, if caught, to come up in a flash with an explanation that will be so confusing that, by the time the bouncer realises what just happened, you will already be hitting the VIP bar, hard, ordering your drinks, four at a time.
As with most things here, everything is so well organised, goes so smoothly, with everybody so obedient, that nobody expects you to play the game according to a different set of rules. I have personally tried and tested these techniques several times, made a lot of friends at lavish parties, and even ended up being officially invited, but hey, who needs an invitation when you can have twice the fun without one?
Gatecrashing Fashion Week
Ongoing, ends Sunday;
Fashion Cocktails at 1105 Your cocktail is your fashion accessory! In connection with Fashion Week, 1105 is offering cocktails tailored to match your look. Classic, rock, couture or trendy – the choice is yours.
Kristen Bernikows Gade 4, Cph K; Fri 16:00
Simons Join the most unique models and the most talented comedians for an edgy and entertaining fashion party at Simons nightclub. Sign up for invites (contact firstname.lastname@example.org).
Store Strandstræde 14, Cph K; Sat 23:00;
This section was contributed by Alexis Robiou, a French fine artist, writer and musician who has lived in Copenhagen for two years. As well as hosting Copenhagen Fashion Week events at Nikolai Kirke or rocking live at Rust, he's been spotted acting as a very improbable city tour guide or singing street karaoké during the last edition of Distortion. His work has been exhibited in New York, Tokyo, Paris, London, Munich, Barcelona, Dublin and now on Blågårdsgade.