Who is … The Little Matchstick Girl?

Do not fear the large glowing orb in the sky! (Photo: Michael Ely)
December 22nd, 2012 5:55 pm| by admin
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She’s a penniless beggar who (spoiler alert) dies in the snow on New Year’s Eve. Why Hans Christian Andersen wrote this sadistic story is a mystery. You can only presume that he didn’t really like children.

 

What’s her deal?
She doesn’t really have one. But for some reason this chick is carrying a bunch of matches with her while taking a seasonal barefoot walk in the snow. She’s clearly on drugs, but what kind is up for debate.

 

Barefoot??
Well, she’s not completely insane. She did first steal her mother’s slippers before venturing out into the cold. But she manages to lose one in the snow, and have the other stolen by a street urchin. Life’s tough on the street, especially if you’re wearing slippers.

 

And the matches?
Eventually she gives up on her long walk to nowhere and decides to huddle up against a brick wall, striking matches against it to warm herself up. Every time she lights one up, she starts hallucinating.

 

Hallucinating? It must be LSD.
Well seeing as the first hallucination is her eating a roast goose dinner (the munchies anyone?), I’m not too sure. When that match goes out, she strikes another, revealing a green tree that goes up in a blaze. Her final match takes the form of her dead grandmother, whom she begs to take with her to heaven. That’s when you know that she’s on a bad trip.

 

Her Grandmother?!
Yep. Spending an afternoon in a retirement home is scary enough. But sharing an eternity with your grandparents in the afterlife is downright terrifying.

 

So … what happens next?
Nothing. She’s found dead in the snow the next day. Merry Christmas.
 

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