Erotic magazine wants to rename the vagina

A Danish magazine has had enough of people calling their vagina ‘it’, ‘that thing’ or ‘downstairs’ and has started a contest in order to find a proper name

Cherry, cha cha, muffin and kitty are just some of the creative synonyms for the vagina, but the erotic magazine Tidens Kvinder, wants to come up with something better. The magazine thinks that it has become somewhat awkward and shameful to speak about woman’s genitals and has decided to give Denmark a chance to rename ‘her’.

In a contest running until May 1, people have the chance to suggest a new alternative word. The idea is to agree on a new term which will not be taboo and may even make its way into Danish dictionaries.

“We are looking for a more neutral word that sounds good and is not offensive or related to something forbidden. The female’s genitals are often associated with a taboo, porn or something sleazy – and we don’t think that is right,” the chief sub-editor of Tidens Kvinder, Helle Hartz, said on the website’s blog.

The most common Danish words which are generally found insulting include ‘fisse’, ‘kusse’, ‘fjappen’, ‘skræv’ and ‘dåsen’ (the can). At the lighter end of the spectrum are words like ‘missen’ (the kitty), ‘fi’, ‘hun’ (her) and ‘punani’. These slang words are mostly used among young people, so even though they may not be offensive, they might not be recognised terms by older generations. Another popular word is ‘tissekone’, which is a combination of the Danish words for ‘pee’ and ‘woman’, but it is considered a very childish word only used among small children. At last are the words ‘vagina’ and ‘skede’ which are the more clinical terms often used at school and the doctor’s office. Most Danish girls will remember turning bright red with shame when their mother would say ‘skede’, as this word is commonly used among older women. For some reason, ‘vagina’ has remained a very rare word in Denmark, so it is not very often used by anyone other than the doctor.

Despite all these words to choose from, many Danes have a problem finding the correct term that sounds mature and respectful while also being sexy and appealing and many of the available choices cause embarrassment.

Therefore Tidens Kvinder wants to come up with an ideal new word that can be used by everyone from children to elders without it being offensive or causing giggles. It should be possible, the magazine says, to use this new word in any context whether it being in the bedroom, at your grandparents' house or at the doctor's office.

Some of the suggestions so far count 'kufi', 'kuska', 'fidilut' and 'patatina' – although the last one, which means ‘little potato’ in Italian, was deemed inappropriate by the magazine. 

If you think you can come up with a better word – preferably not a food – you would like Danes to use, then enter the competition here. There are prizes for the top three inventive and useful alternative suggestions. And who knows, maybe the winning choice will be taught at schools some day.