Inside this week | Christmas in jail

This autumn has peaked. ItÂ’s all downhill from here on in. All pursuits from now until March are strictly indoors, providing you donÂ’t include chopping down your own Christmas tree. Because while the Swedes and the Norwegians take to the mountains with a rifle, the Danes like to huddle together embraced in hygge, counting down the days to Christmas. No wonder everyoneÂ’s always ill.

Oh yes, Christmas – there’s no getting away from it. If you add up all the time this country’s on ‘Greenwich Juletide’, it’s the equivalent of one day a week over the whole of the year. Change that lyric to “I wish it could be Christmas every ‘seventh’ day.” If we lived in a world of peace, I’d lead a campaign to introduce a mandatory prison sentence for the display of decorations before December 1, the wearing of nisser hats on J-Dag (with hard labour for the morning after), and smiling at the participants in July’s World Santa Claus Congress. The sentence wouldn’t start immediately and would only last two days: December 24 and 25.

But really that would be a little petty given all the worthwhile causes out there. IÂ’ll stick to enforcing my rules on my kids. 

I spotted my first Jul ad on the evening of October 31. IÂ’m guessing theyÂ’d decided the kids were all in bed and Halloween was done and dusted, and it was time for the next marketing push. With that in mind, weÂ’re running our first Christmas-related article this week: a guide to whatÂ’s going on for the children. ThereÂ’s a lot to take in, and it really is worth sparing a little time in November to prepare for the onslaught.

Meanwhile, itÂ’s not all doom and gloom, with lots of performances worth checking out (see this week’s InOut guide), the pick of which must be the Copenhagen Theatre CircleÂ’s panto Cinderella, which starts on December 15 and plays until January 7 (see for more details). The group, which last year put on a splendid musical version of A Christmas Carol that theyÂ’d written themselves, hope to establish a pantomime tradition in the city.

And we should support them 100 percent on the proviso they donÂ’t ever give any roles to former contestants on Paradise Hotel or, god forbid, start it in November.

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