Dating the Danes: When a guy says ‘I’ll cook for you’
Have you ever let your friends play with your Tinder account? JUST DON’T!
Especially, if they send things like “Hey handsome! Want to come over and have some fun?”
Most guys would get super pleased receiving that message, but I’ve found that some Danish men can get caught up in logistics because you’re 30 minutes away from their location and end up rejecting you.
Of course, “Come over, I’ll cook for you”, is in the same ballpark. Only difference is that it isn’t a joke typed into your Tinder by one of your friends.
My friend Valerie’s been sent it more than once. And she and her forehead vein make quite a stand when a guy suggests coming anywhere close to his place.
I don’t know about you, but I have all sorts of feelings when I hear that sentence.
Beyond the sex trap
Valerie, like most of the ladies I know, would say that sentence the guy wants to have sex, period.
After all, for women in Copenhagen it can be really easy to get laid – it’s probably easier than arranging a first date.
However, looking back at my dating experiences in Copenhagen, I’ve learned that Danish men never fail to surprise me, over and over again, with their unconventional ways of dating, so what if there’s more to their home-cooked invite?
If he’s just a damn good cook and wants to play to his strengths, can you blame him? Or even better, he’s a guy who takes great pleasure/pride in cooking for others and wanting to cook for is just his way of serving you hygge on a plate.
And besides, it’s a totally different experience than going to a restaurant. It’s more intimate and you get to see the guy in action in his kitchen, maybe being a bit nervous and vulnerable about whether you’ll like the food.
Or maybe he’s just super-confident because he makes the best lasagne in town!
Residue of COVID-19
It’s true that when we were under lockdown, for many guys, “Come over, I’ll cook for you” only meant one thing, only it was normally presented as “Oops, all the cafes and restaurants are closed, let’s meet at my place.”
I don’t know about you girls, but this behaviour was a no-go for my lady clients. They inspired guys to get creative instead and arrange amazing picnics for them.
The lockdown triggered a lot of bad dating behaviour that has sadly continued until today. Lazy and greedy guys put zero effort into arranging dates, instead opting for what was convenient, such as suggesting to meet at his place for a date because he was expecting a parcel to arrive. I mean come on dude!
My friend Louisa was invited to a guy’s place for dinner, and it ended in huge disappointment.
The home-cooked meal turned out to be throwing a frozen pizza into the oven and then eventually throwing her bag and shoes off the door because she wouldn’t move the party to the bedroom.
It is Copenhagen, and it is safe, but you never know what you are getting yourself into.
Date before dinner
So what’s my takeaway from all this?
Girls, get to know the guy a bit before going to his place. And then, if he wants to cook for you, then, go for it and don’t over-analyse what it all means.
A guy going through the hassle of buying the produce, cleaning his place (hopefully) and cooking a meal for you tends to be a little more meaningful than just wanting to get into your pants.
Bon Appétit to y’all!
Maroua (marouasajeb.com) is a dating coach who helps women attract great men with meaningful romantic connections. Maroua is hosting monthly dating events for ladies who are tired of the dating apps and want to date the organic way. Join her supportive environment where you can practise approaching guys and push your comfort zone. Connect and say ‘Hi!’ via facebook.com/maroua.saj.