Schhhhhh… Did you ever notice the silence exiting the airplane arriving in Kastrup, or when riding the train from the airport or even walking in the streets? Copenhagen is a far quieter capital than most other places I know. There is a reason for that.
The unsaid truth is that my brother does not like to live here. He moved to California two decades ago. One of the reasons is that in California, strangers look at each other and greet each other in many situations where Danes simply do not. Danes do not greet you at the bus stop, even if it is just the two of you awkwardly waiting for five minutes. They might not even look at you as they pass, though no one else is around. What is happening here?
The “good intention” you might miss
Every case is individual, but often, the underlying good intention is that they do not want to be intrusive. They want to give you space. This intention might appear strange if you are from a culture where politeness equals acknowledging strangers with eye contact or a greeting.
In Danish culture, the value of personal space extends beyond the physical—it is also psychological and emotional. Danish people tend to avoid interfering in others’ lives unless explicitly invited. This respect for privacy and space is often rooted in kindness, though it might feel like indifference or even coldness to newcomers.
For example, when people are grieving or going through sorrow, the Danish default reaction might be to leave them alone, to give space rather than reaching out. It can feel isolating if you are used to overt gestures of support, but the intention is respect for your emotions and boundaries.
How this translates to work
This same principle often shows up in Danish work culture. Danish colleagues might not check in with you as often as you are used to. They might leave you to finish tasks independently without offering unsolicited feedback or direction.
While this can seem like disinterest or lack of teamwork, the intention is likely to respect your autonomy and avoid micromanagement. Many expats I coach initially interpret this hands-off style as disengagement. However, in Denmark, independence is a sign of trust. If you are given space to handle your work, it likely means your boss or colleagues believe you are capable of managing it well.
Navigating the silence
So, how can you navigate this silent “good intention” as a foreigner working with Danes?
1. Recognize the intention: Understand that silence and space are often rooted in respect and trust. Try not to misinterpret it as coldness.
2. Take initiative: If you need guidance, support, or social interaction, do not hesitate to ask for it. Danes appreciate direct communication.
3. Mirror the balance: While respecting the Danish need for space, it is also okay to introduce a bit of your own cultural norms. A smile, a greeting, or an open question often breaks barriers gently.
This subtle dynamic is only one of the Danish good intentions that can be hard to decode, but once you see it, you can appreciate the respect and trust behind the silence. In part two of this series, we will explore another cultural nuance that shapes Danish behavior in the workplace.
*Josefine Campbell is an author, speaker, executive coach, and columnist of The Copenhagen Post.
