I’m not big on resolutions, but heading into 2017 I had been in Copenhagen for six months and I wasn’t integrating.

I had coaching clients in the UK who I spoke to by phone whilst enjoying the beauty of Charlottenlund.

And while that was an incredible experience, away skiing at Christmas I decided it was time to get some skin in the game.

One person at a time
I resolved to meet a new person every day for coffee. I took to LinkedIn and searched for founders and CEOs doing interesting things.

My ‘story’ was that I was looking for interesting things to get involved with in this country, whilst presenting my skills as a life coach, which tend to lie in affecting behavioural change to improve performance – both mental and physical.

I was blown away by the response. Danes invited me to their companies and showed me their challenges, whilst contacts offered to introduce me to others in their network.

The country I was exposed to filled me with excitement regarding the possibilities. Soon I started to be invited to work with some of them. Within six months I had no choice but to take on a small studio in Hellerup because the travel was restricting my working day.

Perspective issues
So why am I down on resolutions? Well, I’m yet to meet anyone who has a string of 20 years of successful resolutions in their wake.

We get a bird’s eye view of our lives at Christmas when we get to assess them without emotion. But the trouble is that this experience tricks us into thinking that the emotions and feelings that have derailed us in the past will not return when the work does.

Objectively the resolution fits, but the reality is very different. The most powerful resolution one can make, I have found, is to start removing things – starting with those detailing emotions.

The resolution process often shows us truths: namely that our lives are as packed as they feel. Why else would we feel like we can add in more commitments?

Slow down!
It is our feelings that so often make our lives feel overwhelming. So this year, slow down. Name those detailing emotions, and then list the ingredients that make up those emotions.

You see, there is no effect without cause, and we need to identify the ingredients that are combining to derail us.

Commit to not allowing these ingredients to combine in 2020, and have a happy New Year.