“How on earth do you learn all those lines?” 

This is the question actors are often asked. Actors dread it because they always hope that their performance was what mattered most, not the mechanics of getting there

But I believe that the questioner has the right to be curious. 

How do we learn all those lines?

My answer is always the same – “with difficulty“.

Being an actor is a strange job because, before you can “wow” anyone with your performance, you have to struggle to memorise the lines of the play. 

Now I know you don’t feel sorry for us, and in fact, you probably think we’re having a great time on stage with our mates, and enjoying after-show drinks at the bar with our admiring audiences. 

All of that is true, especially if the show is a success. 

But before those potentially happy days arrive, actors sweat buckets trying to get the character’s lines into the memory bank of their brains.

This is more than ever true with the play I am performing at the moment. 

Shirley Valentine

Willy Russell wrote his play, “Shirley Valentine” in 1986, and it was so successful that a year later it was made into an award-winning film. 

It is the hilarious, heartfelt and hard-hitting portrayal of a woman who seeks to re-discover herself.

And even decades later, the film is a delight to watch with a huge cast of well-known British actors against a backdrop of rain-soaked Liverpool and sun-drenched Greece.

Different to the film

But what many people don’t know is that the play is completely different to the film.

The play was written as a two hour comedy for one actress who plays all the roles.

This includes her best friend, her husband, her two grown-up children, her neighbour, and even the sexy Greek taverna-owner, Costas. 

Each character has a different accent, from Liverpool to London to Corfu, and even though I’ve been an actor for 50 years, learning all those lines has been a tough call.

People often wonder how actors can remain so youthful in mind and active in body as they get older. 

Crazy Christmas Show back next year

After 40 years, I’m still prancing around the stage every year in the Crazy Christmas Show and looking forward to doing so again next year when the Crazy Team will be back with a new show at Bremen Theatre.

At 83 years old, Sir Anthony Hopkins, said that playing a dementia patient in the acclaimed film, “The Father” made him more determined to keep his brain active.

He said: “I think learning lines keeps my brain going.”  

We watch famous actors appearing in Netflix dramas and films, where, if they mess up the lines, the director can simply re-shoot the scene.

There is no such safety-net in the theatre. Ian McKellen at 85, still loves the challenge of doing live theatre, as do Judy Dench (89) and Helen Mirren (79).  

I am younger than these celebrated actors, but I intend to continue performing as long as I can physically stagger up the steps to the stage and remember my lines.

There is nothing like the response of a live audience,  and I believe that exercising my memory will keep me active.

I frequently do my Stand Up Comedy Show, and I realise that no-one is going to laugh if I forget a punch line.  

Memory is like a muscle

Memory, I think, is like a muscle and must be toned constantly.

Learning lines requires concentration and hard work.

It’s like cerebral push-ups.  So I am prescribing this fitness regime for you, dear reader.

When you are outside, walking your 10,000 steps, or strolling with the dog – memorise a poem.

You will feel a new spring in your step, and I guarantee that it’s good for the brain.

Meanwhile, I hope I can remember every word that Shirley Valentine wants to tell the audience about re-discovering her life, whilst I play the role at the Black Horse Theatre.

See you there, but please don’t ask me how I learned the lines in the bar afterwards.