Inside this week | Culture down the pub

Two performance pieces playing in Copenhagen this week are set down the pub: Shakespeare Unplugged, which we previewed two issues ago, and Hjertebanken.

Not sure what to make of this. While it certainly solves the legroom issue, and will make fidgeting less conspicuous, it sounds like it will need a list of stipulations on the ticket. Like could all those with weak bladders kindly sit near the exit – which when you’re drinking pints is invariably everybody. And no, you’re not allowed to get your iPhone out if you get bored – the actors will find this distracting. As they will peanut throwing, chatting up the bar-person, copulation and fighting, and spending ten minutes positioning a folded beer-mat under the table to make it level. And don’t forget crisps. You’d need a whole paragraph on that alone.

At Hjertebanken, teens will be served drinks and aphrodisiacs at the bar. Yes, you read that right … only teens. They’re the last people who need help. A woman could pass at 400 hundred paces and that’s all they need for an entire week. And, while we’re at it, maybe somebody should tell them to stop using the translated title, ‘Heartbeat’, when speaking to non-Danish press. Although the damage has already been done, can we assure you now that at no point will somebody start playing the Hollies. Although the British TV drama of the same name is bizarrely popular here, and there hasn’t been a weekday since the 1990s when it hasn’t been shown.

In contrast, Ben Clement, a former assistant editor of this very publication, has been a relative stranger to these shores since scarpering off to Berlin three years ago. In the meantime, his career in artistic architecture has gone from strength to strength, particularly after winning the prestigious ‘Politikens Talentpris’ in 2008. Which kind of sounds a bit biased doesn’t it? Well, he and his partner’s current exhibition Phantom Limbs, like all of their work, speaks for itself. It’s unique, inspiring and amazingly visual – it’s no surprise to learn their work has started appearing in film as well.

Although, and this might change, they haven’t yet started making anything for the pub.