Inside this week | Hurray, it’s Nik & Jay

Am I allowed to mention that Nik & Jay had English lessons at the school I worked at for several years? Yeah, why not, after all, I spilled the beans about teaching Hannibal Gadaffi that you don’t “snore” cocaine – I can say that in the safety I’m not on krak, but please don’t misconstrue this juxtaposition.

Anyhow, the bastards turned me down. They wanted an American teacher to help them with their future US conquest plans. A quick glance at their Wikipedia page reveals that, seven or eight years later, nothing’s happened yet. If only they’d gone British, they could have caught the coattails of The Streets. English is where it is, innit. Yeah, I’ve seen Scum.

Strange because you would have thought songs like ‘Lækker’ and ‘Boing!’ would translate pretty easily. Sample lyrics: “For du for lækker, lækker, lækker, lækker, lækker, lækker, lækker, lækker, lækker” and “Whoop – Uh-huh/Whoop – Uh-huh/Boing! Boing!/Whoop – Uh-huh/Yes/Okay.” You have to question whether they actually want to be successful. I heard their last album was called Engle eller dæmoner – what’s next, The Code of Da Vinci?

Nevertheless, Nik lookalike Daniel van der Noon has written a very positive listing about the duo this week [they played Friday], but are we really sure their concerts sell out that fast. The last time I took the ferry to Oslo, they were performing as part of the Rock Cruise in the ship’s casino – the pokiest venue I’ve probably ever seen. At first glance they looked like a couple of croupiers.

A slightly more successful export, but this time to Denmark, is tea, and the number of specialist shops (see G9 for details) continues to grow. As do video game events (see G9 for news of Copenhagen Games 2012), gourmet food takeaways (see G13 for our review of Kødbyens Deli – I challenge anyone to find somewhere where the quality and price are so good) and English-language historical tours of the city (G8) on the 15th and 16th centuries, crime and – new this week – ghosts.

Come on Nik & Jay, even the crooks and the spooks are going English – isn’t it about time you gave it a shot?