Inside this week | Prostitutes on Mastermind

One of these days I’m going to be watching the Danish equivalent of ‘Mastermind’ and there will be a contestant who’s a prostitute. Name: Jana Jensen; profession: S&M prostitute; chosen specialist subject: the life and works of the Marquis de Sade.

If you think this sounds far-fetched, check out the latest issue of the DSB family magazine Ud og Se in which there is a fluff piece about friendships. Two seven-year-old boys, two grannies, a homeless guy and his dog … aaah how sweet, you can picture the boys’ parents cutting out the article … and then they notice that the final one is about a couple of prostitutes.

Naïve attitudes to prostitution in this country, as displayed on our website, can be worrying. I’ve got nothing against it in a country like Australia, where it’s all legal and above board, but from my window overlooking Istedgade, I can assure you with certainty that 90 percent of the prostitutes on that street are the victims of human trafficking. Picking one up is unjustifiable.

But the flesh is weak, and visiting a specialist prostitute who might cater for a particular fetish not provided at home (did somebody say a blow job?) is perfectly understandable. The evidence from popular culture (how many of the killers in CSI turn out to be ‘smoking hot babes’ who look more like Charlize Theron than Aileen Wuornos?) is that S & M is practically mainstream these days – particularly advertising where images of strong women subjugating men abound  – and the exhibition Schools, Hospitals, Prisons taps into this.

Fortunately, S&M will be a noticeable absentee at the Japanese Sakura Festival, which might be just as well given the nature of Takashi Miike’s films – have you seen Audition? Let’s just say that it’s pointless having a safe word if a dominatrix has injected you with a serum to temporarily paralyse you. And you don’t want to know what she does with the cheese wire.

No, instead treat yourself to a day out, whether it’s at the cinema to see this year’s must-see romcom Silver Linings Playbook, or a trip to Fælledparken to enjoy the May 1 festivities.

Sure, there will be prostitutes present, but you will probably only notice them if you recognise them from the pages of Ud og Se.