This Week’s TV: Hard or semi-hard, it’s easy on the eye


Cucumber & Banana
SVT1, Thu 22:00 & 22:45

The hardness scale of the male erection – from Tofu to Banana to Cucumber – gave Russell T Davies (Doctor Who) the inspiration for the naming of three entertaining companion series celebrating love without borders lived to excess on the Manchester LGBT scene.

It is fittingly Cucumber, which follows the trials and tribulations of middle-aged Henry trying to get his life back on track after breaking up with his husband, which holds the series together.

Banana, meanwhile, offers the funny and disturbing back-stories of some of Cucumber’s peripheral characters. And Tofu is a connected web series.

Featuring a great mix of everyday life, graphic threesomes, and psychological meltdowns, this  series is upbeat in the sense that you’ll realise that not all your choices are that bad. But at the same time you might feel a little jealous that you’re not part of it.


The sun finally out is the cue for the Nordics to unleash some quality TV in our direction.

K5 is the biggest culprit, launching three new US drama series: Forever (Thu 22:00), Secrets and Lies (Sun 22:55) and The Flash (Sun 21:00).

Ioan Gruffudd (Hornblower) lends immortality yarn Forever a charm, but not enough to stop it getting cancelled; the reasonable Secrets and Lies will return, again with Ryan Phillippe as a man accused of killing a child (not sure if it will be another one in season two); while The Flash is more kid-friendly than deadly, but clearly (8.3 on IMDB) has its fans.

It’s a good week for investigative docs, with Danish-produced US trailer park exposé Pervert Park (DR2, Mon 23:40) leading the way with strong support from Ivory Tower (DR2, Tue 20:45) on US education, Knuckle (DR2, Wed 00:45) on Irish traveller fighting, A people uncounted (DRK, Mon 22:00) on the persecution of the Roma.

Elsewhere, watch the first ever episodes of Downton Abbey (DRK, Fri 18:50) and How to make it in America (SVT2, Mon 22:15), season two of Boss (SVT1, Thu 23:15); and a few docs that speak for themselves: Kings of Tetris (DR3, Sun 17:00), Royal Cousins at War (DRK, Mon 20:00), and the harrowing Banaz: An Honour Killing (DR2, Sat 21:40). (BH)




Did you think The Bachelor was real?

If so, prepare to be disappointed. Lifetime’s new series will show you how twisted the world of reality shows is, pointing out it’s always fiction in the end.

On ‘Everlasting’ the participants are promised they will find the love of their life. Instead, the producers are pushing the contestants to their limit to get a bigger audience share. Sound familiar?

With 77 on Metacritic, prepare to unveil the chaos behind the scenes. (EN)




Need To fill the void left by major championships? Try the Women’s World Cup (TV2 or SVT4 , Sat 23:55). Elsewhere, we’ve got Bradley Wiggins attempting to break the one-hour world record (Eurosport, Sat 19:15), the X-Games  (DR3, Fri 18:30), the Canadian GP  (3+, Sat 19:00), the French Open finals (Eurosport, Sat & Sun 15:00) and, oh nearly forgot – coz Messi’s going to do it again – the Champions League final (TV3+, Sat 19:00). (BH)


Paul Giamitti was born with integrity, which makes most of his roles (let’s not mention Downton Abbey) a safe bet and Win Win (TV3, Thu 23:45) is no exception. Less so is The Box (DR3, Thu 21:55), an ultimately silly film about an evil container, and Leap Year (TV3, Mon 22:15) and When in Rome (K4, Fri 21:00), romcoms that do Ireland and Italy no favours at all. (BH)



Win Win