Pick of the week:

Eurovision semi-finals
Dr1 & SVT1,tue & thu 21:00

One of the first things that struck me about Danish women back in the 1990s was how much they loved Eurovision. It was all a bit sad really.

The men had won Euro 92, and all the nation needed to complete the set was the song contest – and an untainted one at that (see page 4).

These days, two victories later, they don’t really seem to care anymore.
Two things are certain about the contest.

Firstly, the act with the most searches on Google will win – unless one of the automatic qualifiers springs a surprise. The bookies accordingly know who will win by the end of the semis. The cunning will bet with their friends only.

And secondly, the order of the voting will be rigged so the second favourite’s friends are in the first half to make it appear close.
In reality, it rarely is. (Ben Hamilton)

Also New:

The fate of the world could have been very different had France participated in the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest. They would have given points to Italy and the wild costumes, mammoth tours and heart-breaking finish that made ABBA famous would never have been.

Instead we would be reminiscing over Gigliola Cinquetti’s finest hour and laughing at Meryl Streep’s performance in her musical ‘Si’. Let’s be grateful the French president died, France pulled out and we can watch the ABBA theme night.

Whilst you watch, remember that The Secret Life of Your House (DR2 Mon 20:00) says you have cockroaches in your home. And they smell of mouldy cheese and carry egg sacs. Are you uncomfortable yet?The Secret Life of Your House

Now take a cruise around TV land. First, let’s go to the Pacific to catch The Island (SVT1 Mon 22:15). Then sail on into the dazzling musical documentary Mumbai High (SVT1 Wed 23:05). Next venture to less exotic climates as The Gypsy Matchmaker (DR2 Tue 23:05) and Addicted to Tattoos (DR3 Mon 20:45) show us the weird and wonderful sub-cultures of Britain. Now back in Europe, let’s finish with the 40-Year-Old Virgins (TV2 Sun 23:45) and the powerful documentary My Nazi Legacy (DRK Sun 21:00). (Alex James)

Coming Soon:
HOUDINI AND DOYLE

Master illusionist Harry Houdini (Michael Weston – the psycho in Six Feet Under), noted for his spectacular escape acts, and groundbreaking author Arthur Conan Doyle (Stephen Mangan – Episodes), the creator of the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes, join forces to investigate crimes, begrudgingly.

Houdini believes in nothing and Doyle believes in everything – it’s a promising dynamic, but with 52 on Metacritic, the critics have been luke-warm about this light-hearted, bog-standard procedural.

“It is less exciting than it sounds,” despairs the LA Times, while the NY Times concurs the leads are “one-dimensional and dull”. (Junyi Qi)

Sport of the week:

This year we’ve got two £120 million games in the Championship. Middlesbrough need just a point at home to Brighton to get promoted at the visitors’ expense. Meanwhile in the EPL, Leicester will lift the trophy at home to Everton (3+, Sat 18:30) and Man City host Arsenal (TV3 Sport 2, Sun 16:55). Elsewhere, we’ve got the Ice Hockey Worlds and Giro d’Italia. (Ben Hamilton)

Film of the week:

Pumpkin and Honey Bunny from Pulp Fiction could have livened up clichéd montage movie What to expect when you’re expecting – “If any of your pricks move …” Then again, if anyone needs a volley, it’s Tim Roth for turgid turns as Sepp Blatter and Prince Rainier in Grace of Monaco. He is clearly no longer A Serious Man. (Ben Hamilton)