Turns out I’m not British anymore. Let’s look at the evidence. Two weeks in the UK over the summer and the sorry count was 30-0 in favour of my fellow pedestrians. On five occasions, I had to stop myself from saying: “No, that’s okay, it was my fault,” but then I remembered where I was. On three occasions I failed to cheer when a waitress dropped something. And I even managed to have a conversation about Paula Radcliffe without mentioning how she went for a piss during the London marathon.

Would a geezer like Danny Dyer apologise to an idiot who’s just turned direction and walked into him? Probably. He’s back with another bad lads documentary series, cockney-mentary if you like, to help launch our new TV page (or see how it looks in print ). With two new series on SVT1 and the start of the English Premier League season, there’s plenty to write about. As Danny himself might say: Cushtie!

I’d like to say the decision to get rid of the listings – in every single issue going back to June 1998 – was a hard one, but who are we kidding? It was fiddly, menial work updating you about the million times CSI and all its other clones were on, and it was high time for a change. 

Our viewing habits have changed a lot in 15 years – incredulously many claim to never watch TV, but you know what they mean. They’ll only watch it on their own terms: streamed, downloaded or pre-recorded, but hardly ever live, and god forbid one episode at a time. So conversely, our TV guide is now a guide for people who ‘don’t watch TV’. 

We’re going to start looking beyond the confines of Scandinavia as TV is truly global now. Every week we’ll do our best to recommend a series making a big splash overseas.

But while the TV’s good this week, going out is a whole lot better. Copenhagen Pride and the Malmö Festival are two of the biggest events of the year, and you don’t want to miss the Roskilde Air Show.  

Will some of you miss the TV listings? Maybe, and we sympathise. Just don’t expect me to say sorry.