A haircut is not supplementary, My Dear Watson!

Oh dear, Dr Watson! I’d been putting it off. Snipping at hairballs while Dr Watson sat still on my lap on long car journeys. Then Jakob started complaining about fur clogging up his air conditioning and I knew it was time to do the right thing. 

Dr Watson is a rescue dog, you see. And we were told he didn’t like trimmers. So last time, as regular blog readers will know, while out for the count having his teeth cleaned, he had a pretty close shave. Only it wasn’t pretty at all.

So this time I called a local ‘furdressing salon’ and a very nice lady called Anne Frøkjær said: “Yes, if it’s for the Copenhagen Post, we’ll make an exception. We are normally booked up three months ahead, but bring him over on Monday. We have a rather touchy dog coming that day, but it’ll be fine.”

On a pedestal
So Monday came; I bathed Watson first and off we went. Anne, Hanne and Rina from the dog salon (Skovmose 5, Allerød; 4817 0549) were so sweet. As were the dogs at various stages of being washed, trimmed, fussed over and collected.

The touchy dog they mentioned woofed a bit but looked exceedingly dashing, so he must have sat still to some extent. 

Sadly, ‘still’ was not a concept Dr Watson was comfortable with, He started off fairly calmly, consenting to being ‘slung up’ for safety reasons.

But the second the trimmer made its appearance, there he was, thrashing about, scattering brushes and trimmers left, right and centre like a highly-strung electric eel on speed attempting a canine quickstep. 

And when the nice ladies approached his ‘undercarriage’, his ballroom antics intensified. Getting hooked in his sling trying to sling his hook, fur went flying in all directions. Jim Carrey’s movie The Mask came to mind. Only this wasn’t funny! 

Those ladies were saints
Firmly but gently, they reined him in and persevered. After two naughty nips, a soft muzzle was in order. I put down my camera and ‘snuggled’ Watson tight. He seemed to calm down a bit too. Perhaps it was because the ladies began explaining that without his ‘bits’ he would be much less trouble.

They were shockingly close to his family jewels right then, snipping away, and I guess he got the point. Or rather he didn’t get the point, but it was certainly on the table and up for discussion. 

Tell me about your childhood, Dr Watson
While Dr Watson resigned himself to being given a splendid ‘do’ by Anne and Hanne, we speculated about his past. Words like ‘psychotic’ and ‘schizophrenic’ were jokingly bandied about. I reassured them that my children were well behaved and that Watson was usually very loving. Hard to believe.

We solemnly agreed that at some time he must have had a traumatic experience at a dog’s salon that will take some getting over. Well, thanks to Dr Watson, I now know how that feels! But the ladies were amazing.

“Don’t worry,” said Hanne “he’ll get used to us.” Wow, I thought, quite frankly flabbergasted, they are brave enough for a repeat performance. Unbelievable!

Back home
Afterwards we made our own toy dog out of a snappy outgrown crocodile shirt that seemed appropriate (see how and more cute doggy pics at helendyrbye.blogspot.com). Jake was looking through the photos.

“There aren’t many of Watson,” he said. “Hardly surprising,” I replied. It isn’t easy taking photos while grimly clutching a mini-Schnauzer with a massive chip on his shoulder and an excessive appetite for freedom! 

Dog shows
If you dream of being a dog hairdresser, Rina explained that it takes three years as an apprentice learning the ropes, hair-driers and breeds of dogs. 

But you can see dogs of all shapes and sizes behaving exceptionally well at the Danish Kennel Club international dog show (Vejen Idrætscenter, Petersmindevej 1, Vejen, Jutland; 21-22 June; opens 07:45, judging from 09:00; tickets: over-12s 60kr, under-12s 10kr, under-6s free adm, family ticket 120kr for 2 adults and 3 kids). 

And closer to home, you can perhaps still enter your pedigree pooch for the show at Frederiksborg Centret (Milnersvej 39, Hillerød; 20-21 September 2014, opens 08:30, judging from 10:00; ticket prices the same as Vejen). 

Guest dog tickets (those not entering properly) cost 30 kroner per dog, but remember Fido’s vaccination papers and think twice, based on our experience with Dr Watson.

For more dog show details, visit dkk.dk or check out hunde-salon.dk to find out more about Anne Frøkjær’s dog salon. 

Helen Dyrbye is a plublished author, translator and former scout leader from East Anglia in England who relocated to Denmark a long time ago and loves it here as much as "back home". 

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