Do you remember the time when everything was Sparta? Okay, everything except for your abs maybe. Well, unpack your 300 memes folks, Hollywood is doing what it’s best at: milking its success, though the succession to this particular piece is entirely lactose-free and homogenised.

Formulating a sequel to a movie in which almost all the major characters die can be tricky (though don’t dare them), so instead writers Zack Snyder and Kurt Johnstad came up with an inbetweenquel.

Surprised? Me neither, the sex scene with Eva Green may very well be the only highlight of the sword‘n’sandals blockbuster 300: Rise of an Empire.

If you’re looking for some proper violence – and by proper I mean the kind of unprocessed, psychologically draining violence that worsens with silence and laughter – you may want to invest your resources in the Oscar-nominated Belgian drama Bullhead that is arriving, characteristically late, in Danish cinemas this week.

The plot of this bleak and stylish film whirls through the mazes of the Belgian cattle hormone mafia – but it is really Matthias Schoenaerts’ rendering of the testosterone-fuelled and damaged protagonist Jacky that elevates it beyond an ordinary crime story. Schoenaerts is definitely someone to watch.

And at the risk of having the grammar police come rapping on my door, Mr Peabody – aka the most accomplished dog in the world – might be someone worth watching too, especially if you were a kid in the ‘60s or have one now. Fisketorvet, Palads and Lyngby are showing the 3D English version of Mr Peabody and Sherman.

It took Rob Minkoff (the guy who made ALL of us cry with The Lion King) 12 epic years to get the movie to its final, definitely physically and historically accurate, time-travelling self.

Wondering what took him so long? Quality, baby!