When Gareth Edwards got a call from his agent (reports the Daily Telegraph) saying it was okay to tell his family, he rang his mum and said: “I’ve been offered Godzilla,” and she said: “Oh, well, can you get someone to help you with that?” “No, mum, this is a good thing,” Edwards had to explain. 

So it goes with monsters: either you love ‘em or you really, really don’t. But if you do, you’ll be happy to hear that the original Godzilla – Ishirō Honda’s “illegitimate child of the H–bomb” – will be attending its 60th anniversary at Huset next Thursday (7.30pm, May 22).

If you are more into Young and Beautiful than old and grimy, then Francois Ozon’s (also 8 Women, Swimming Pool) 15th film in 17 years, In the House, will see your French-speaking self wonder if Ozon’s narrative revolving around a devious, but talented boy is too clever for its own good, or plain good.

For all the suburban backyard basketball playing that goes on in this film, this is still a très French one.

And I know they say the French are naughty, but if you want something full-on all-out depraved, then you’ll struggle to beat the Italian Pier Paolo Pasolini’s 1975 arthouse-Nazisploitation classic Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom. 

Last week we stumbled on the namesake of masochism, but Leopold von Sacher-Masoch was a castrated chihuahua compared to 18th century aristocrat-philosopher Marquis de Sade (sadism anyone?), whose pornographic book ‘120 Days of Sodom’ Salò is based on. The film screens at Huset this Friday – at midnight when the kids are in bed.

Why do we end up in the gutters you ask? Freud knows, but when there’s so little at the cinemas to make you want to go, it may be a sign that you’re supposed to stay out in the first place. Tivoli’s 8 x 4,8 metre big screen will see to that this Sunday at 8pm: get your ditsy kicks with Woody Allen’s romcom Annie Hall. 

As to why we end up in the gutters – well maybe we’ve never even left.