Living in an Expat world | Danes make me wonder

Despite having been here for 16 years, I still wonder about a lot of things typical to Danes. Don’t get me wrong, the average Dane is quite likeable, and you will most likely grow accustomed to them. However, sometimes they are just … ehm … ‘different’ from other nationalities – especially when they try to be formal and polite.

The other day during the lunch break at work, it struck me that the Danish understanding of politeness is actually quite different from other cultures. One of my colleagues was reaching for the salt and got a little close to me and my plate, so she apologised by saying:  “Jeg rækker lige over” (I’ll just reach across and grab this). However, it was stated very matter-of-factly, rather than as a question. Later that day at the supermarket, I encountered the same Danish ‘politeness’ when another customer announced:  “Jeg kommer lige forbi” (I am passing by), rather than asking whether he could pass, please.

However, here is the thing. The Danes are in fact being polite in their very own direct way. You are informed about what they will do, and Danes do not expect any response on your behalf. Of course, this can cause some confusion and the misunderstanding that Danes are being impolite and rude. Often, the lack of an equivalent word for ‘please’ in the Danish language is sorely missed.

I actually voiced my thoughts about this rather strange politeness to my colleagues over lunch. And it struck me that they were not aware of the fact that this sort of behaviour could come across as being rude. From their point of view, they are extremely polite when ‘informing’ me rather than just reaching for the salt. So saying “I wonder why” to your Danish colleagues can be recommended. You might get the explanation you were looking for.

I started making a list of all the everyday things I wonder about years ago, and it had become rather long. Fortunately, you learn a lot about the Danes as time passes by, and most of the stuff I had scribbled down I have found the answer to. Just ask the Danes and they tend to tell you the truth – and without any sugar-coating due to the Danish way of being direct.

However, I do wonder whether my Danish colleague will ask or rather inform me the next time she reaches across me for the salt …

TOP STORIES

  • Bestselling author of ‘The Year of Living Danishly’ Helen Russell on why she moved back to the UK after 12 years

    Bestselling author of ‘The Year of Living Danishly’ Helen Russell on why she moved back to the UK after 12 years

    After more than a decade living in Denmark, Russell shares why she made the move, how she’s coping, what she already misses, and the exciting new projects she’s working on. “It’s been a very tough decision. I love Denmark, and it will always hold a special place in my heart,” she says.

  • Denmark launches first AI supercomputer

    Denmark launches first AI supercomputer

    The new Gefion AI supercomputer is one of the world’s fastest and will accelerate research and provide new opportunities in Danish academia and industry.

  • Navigating big love, big moves and big feelings

    Navigating big love, big moves and big feelings

    Experts believe it takes seven years to move into a new culture, according to leading Danish psychologist Jette Simon and therapist Vibeke Hartkorn. For expat couples, the challenges of starting a new life together in Denmark can put pressure on relationships, but emotions-focused therapy can help.

  • More and more Danes are working after retirement age

    More and more Danes are working after retirement age

    Politicians debate a lot these days about when you can retire. The reality shows that an increasing number of Danes like to work, even if they can withdraw from the labor market. Financial incentives help.

  • Environmental activist fears death in prison if extradited to Japan

    Environmental activist fears death in prison if extradited to Japan

    Canadian-born environmental activist Paul Watson has been in prison in Greenland for almost 100 days awaiting an extradition decision for a 14-year-old offence against a Japanese whaling vessel that he calls a “minor misdemeanor”. The 73-year-old had previously passed through Ireland, Switzerland, Monaco, France and the USA without trouble, before Greenlandic police arrested him in July.

  • Denmark too slow to ease recruitment rules for non-EU service workers, say industry associations

    Denmark too slow to ease recruitment rules for non-EU service workers, say industry associations

    When the Danish government in January presented the first of its schemes to make it easier to recruit foreign labour from outside the EU, it was hailed by the healthcare and service sectors as a timely and important policy shift. But while healthcare changes have been forthcoming, the service sector is still struggling, say the directors of the industry association Dansk Industri and one of the country’s largest private employers ISS.

Connect club

Connect Club is your gateway to a vibrant programme of events and an international community in Denmark.

Sign up here

Career

  • Come and join us at Citizens Days!

    Come and join us at Citizens Days!

    On Friday 27 and Saturday 28 of September, The Copenhagen Post will be at International Citizen Days in Øksnehallen on Vesterbro, Copenhagen. Admission is free and thousands of internationals are expected to attend

  • Diversifying the Nordics: How a Nigerian economist became a beacon for inclusivity in Scandinavia

    Diversifying the Nordics: How a Nigerian economist became a beacon for inclusivity in Scandinavia

    Chisom Udeze, the founder of Diversify – a global organization that works at the intersection of inclusion, democracy, freedom, climate sustainability, justice, and belonging – shares how struggling to find a community in Norway motivated her to build a Nordic-wide professional network. We also hear from Dr. Poornima Luthra, Associate Professor at CBS, about how to address bias in the workplace.

  • Lolland Municipality launches support package for accompanying spouses

    Lolland Municipality launches support package for accompanying spouses

    Lolland Municipality, home to Denmark’s largest infrastructure project – the Fehmarnbelt tunnel connection to Germany – has launched a new jobseeker support package for the accompanying partners of international employees in the area. The job-to-partner package offers free tailored sessions on finding a job and starting a personal business.

Want to advertise your job with CPH Post?

Contact us

Jobs