A crime against cinema so unfunny it’s scary

Scary Movie 5 opens with Sheen and Lohan in a Paranormal Activity-esque bedroom scene, preparing to make a sex tape. When Lohan becomes possessed by a demon and kills Sheen, his three children are orphaned and later discovered in the woods by a pair of stoners. They are then adopted by their uncle Dan (Rex) and his wife Jody (Tisdale). After the children are brought to their new home, strange things start happening around the house. It seems that the children have come with strings attached – namely in the form of a possessive demon …

Beyond this sorry excuse for a storyline, the film continues to make little to no sense. Even having seen most of the films on the chopping block for parody, the film is neither funny nor frightening (although the latter wasn’t intended) and holds little connection with the franchise’s previous films.

The best way to describe Scary Movie 5 is ‘gratuitous’. Gratuitous sex, violence and vulgar jokes all make the entire film ridiculously unnecessary. It relies heavily on Dan getting beat up in various ways and on repeated violent accidents, but beyond these lukewarm gags, the humour then turns to bodily fluids. Even the added cameos from random celebrities do nothing to save the film. Overall, Scary Movie 5 only boasts a handful of moments worth chuckling over – and needless to say, a comedy is not successful if the theatre is silent.

It’s easy to picture the writers’ room and their attempts to come up with parodies of popular films, but these are not truly connected throughout the script. It makes no sense how a weak narrative thread holds the plot loosely together, as one parody flows into the next.

The mind boggles attempting to understand how this franchise continues to pump out sequels. Apparently, enough people are going to see these films to keep the series afloat; however, it’s not recommended.

Perhaps the most frightening aspect of Scary Movie 5 is that the production company even gave the film’s creators the green light.

Scary Movie 5 (11)

Dir: Malcom D Lee; US comedy, 2013, 85 mins, Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan
Premiered April 18
Playing nationwide

TOP STORIES

  • Chinese wind turbine companies sign pact to end race-to-the-bottom price war

    Chinese wind turbine companies sign pact to end race-to-the-bottom price war

    China’s 12 leading wind turbine makers have signed a pact to end a domestic price war that has seen turbines sold at below cost price in a race to corner the market and which has compromised quality and earnings in the sector.

  • Watch Novo Nordisk’s billion-kroner musical TV ad for Wegovy

    Watch Novo Nordisk’s billion-kroner musical TV ad for Wegovy

    Novo Nordisk’s TV commercial for the slimming drug Wegovy has been shown roughly 32,000 times and reached 8.8 billion US viewers since June.

  • Retention is the new attraction

    Retention is the new attraction

    Many people every year choose to move to Denmark and Denmark in turn spends a lot of money to attract and retain this international talent. Are they staying though? If they leave, do they go home or elsewhere? Looking at raw figures, we can see that Denmark is gradually becoming more international but not everyone is staying. 

  • Defence Minister: Great international interest in Danish military technology

    Defence Minister: Great international interest in Danish military technology

    Denmark’s Defence Minister Troels Lund Poulsen attended the Association of the Unites States Army’s annual expo in Washington DC from 14 to 16 October, together with some 20 Danish leading defence companies, where he says Danish drone technology attracted significant attention.

  • Doctors request opioids in smaller packs as over-prescription wakes abuse concerns

    Doctors request opioids in smaller packs as over-prescription wakes abuse concerns

    Doctors, pharmacies and politicians have voiced concern that the pharmaceutical industry’s inability to supply opioid prescriptions in smaller packets, and the resulting over-prescription of addictive morphine pills, could spur levels of opioid abuse in Denmark.

  • Housing in Copenhagen – it runs in the family

    Housing in Copenhagen – it runs in the family

    Residents of cooperative housing associations in Copenhagen and in Frederiksberg distribute vacant housing to their own family members to a large extent. More than one in six residents have either parents, siblings, adult children or other close family living in the same cooperative housing association.

Connect club

Connect Club is your gateway to a vibrant programme of events and an international community in Denmark.

Sign up here

Career

  • Come and join us at Citizens Days!

    Come and join us at Citizens Days!

    On Friday 27 and Saturday 28 of September, The Copenhagen Post will be at International Citizen Days in Øksnehallen on Vesterbro, Copenhagen. Admission is free and thousands of internationals are expected to attend

  • Diversifying the Nordics: How a Nigerian economist became a beacon for inclusivity in Scandinavia

    Diversifying the Nordics: How a Nigerian economist became a beacon for inclusivity in Scandinavia

    Chisom Udeze, the founder of Diversify – a global organization that works at the intersection of inclusion, democracy, freedom, climate sustainability, justice, and belonging – shares how struggling to find a community in Norway motivated her to build a Nordic-wide professional network. We also hear from Dr. Poornima Luthra, Associate Professor at CBS, about how to address bias in the workplace.

  • Lolland Municipality launches support package for accompanying spouses

    Lolland Municipality launches support package for accompanying spouses

    Lolland Municipality, home to Denmark’s largest infrastructure project – the Fehmarnbelt tunnel connection to Germany – has launched a new jobseeker support package for the accompanying partners of international employees in the area. The job-to-partner package offers free tailored sessions on finding a job and starting a personal business.

Want to advertise your job with CPH Post?

Contact us

Jobs